Two Tribes

A moralistic tale of two cultures. He who has ears...

Once upon a time there was a tribe of people who could only look to the left and another tribe of people who could only look to the right.

The tribe of ‘Right-lookers’ found that by standing opposite each other on each other’s right side they could see each other clearly. This worked really well as they got a clear view of each other’s face, meaning they got to know each other really well. They could see all things whether right or wrong and were able to help each other with problems in this way. Alas, over time, the idea of standing opposite each other meant that some began to think that opposite thinking was the best way. So, increasingly, criticism of each other took place and it became normal that problems were solved by arguing with each other for many hours until decisions were made. It took a long time and sometimes people got hurt - but progress was made.

The tribe of ‘Left-lookers’ found a different solution to dealing with each other. They decided to stand side by side facing the same way together, united in their goals and direction. However, it did mean they only ever got to see the back of each other’s head. This made it harder to know a person directly but that was okay as they were so united in their ideas that it was natural just to call everyone ‘brother’ or ‘aunty’ and other family names. Individuals didn’t matter a great deal. They developed huge communities that worked well together in times of crisis and trouble and they worked and walked side by side. However, just as they avoided looking directly at each other’s faces (which was considered very rude and disrespectful) so they never criticised each other directly. Instead they would tell others, who would tell others who would tell the person being criticised. Sometimes this was good because, if a brother was doing something wrong, three or four others would come to tell him and, while they were there, they would help him fix it too. Solving problems though, took a long time and sometimes people got hurt – but progress was made.

Now the two tribes knew about each other but just looked enviously at each other’s societies. Over many years, the Right tribe had better land whilst the Left tribe struggled with bad weather and many disasters but were much cleverer as a result of having to fix things. Also, they started having little fights with each other and stealing from one another. But the Right tribe had better resources and by stealing good, clever and beautiful things from the Left people gained the advantage. Eventually the Right tribe took over the Left tribe.

Unfortunately, in the Right tribe’s language, there was no difference between “Right” and “Correct” and so they came to view all things ‘righty’ as being the only true way to do things. They could not understand the Left tribe’s ‘leftiness’ and their silly adherence to this way. It infuriated the Right people that Left people could not do anything directly and always took a difficult route to do… well, anything really. The Right people struggled with the Left people’s land which was hot and often dangerous. They could not persuade the Left people to become Right like them and all the time the Left people had the ridiculous notion that they could look after themselves and all Right people did was take their valuables. ‘What nonsense,’ thought the Right people ‘Right is Might and we are mighty. Left is best left behind. If they must be Left then they deserve to have us take their things and use them the Right way.’

Over time though, the views of the Right people began to change. They got tired of telling Left people what to do and all the trouble the Left people caused. Some of them began to doubt that Right really did mean correct and the word spread. When they nearly got taken over by Up people they really began to re-think how they viewed others. Soon, no Right person believed they were right at all and they left the land of the Left tribe and went back to their own land. Of course, they didn’t give back anything they had stolen or help with the damage they had caused. Nor did they help with any of the problems that Left people had to deal with all the time anyway – like the weather. They just left the Lefts.

Many years later the Rights continued to prosper from all the things they had taken long ago but the Lefts never really recovered. Soon, Left people began to come to the land of the Rights to ask for help in their land. They needed food, clothes, medicine, education and so much more. So some of the kinder Right people began to organise ways to come over and help.

This could have been a great time of healing and understanding between these two great tribes but, alas, the Right people still really did not understand how the Left people did things and, because they were so brash and abrupt, the Left people were easily offended by some of the things Right people did even when trying to help.

Some Right people were so ashamed of their own tribe that they tried to become ‘lefty’ and wore the same clothes as Left people and even walked backwards so they would walk with a Left person in a Left way – side by side. Unfortunately, this just looked silly to everyone and instead of building relationships just embarrassed other Right people and their own Left friends. Some Right people tried to tell Left people how to behave and how to do things and how they must do things in the old traditional Left way, even though many Left people liked some of the Right ways and thought that they might just be…well, right.

And so, the same old confused communications took place. Many Left people just didn’t want Right people there at all and others wanted to give up being Left and just be exactly like Right people. No Right person believed they should rule the Left people again but a lot of them despaired of how Left people could just not get it Right. Others tried to stop any help given to the Lefts because it might make them more Right and that was wrong – even if it meant leaving the Lefts in trouble and despair. At least it was Left trouble and despair.

This is how it is today. It is sad really because all the bad things about being Right - like arguing and fighting and stealing and confrontation - are happening in Left land whilst the Right people are losing any sense of friendship, or family or working together which the Left people are just brilliant at. The Left land is still short of resources and is beaten by the terrible weather whilst the Right land still contains all the resources the Left people need. Some Right people still think they know better than Left people how to run Left land and some Left people see the Right land with all its riches and think “I need to be Right and do the Right man’s things. Then I will be rich like him”.

Very few Right people come to Left land happy in their own Righty natures but glad to learn some Leftiness from Left people too. They come to help where the Left person tells them they need help and they have realised that if they walk on the Left person’s side they can see them comfortably the way they are used to in their own land, but at the same time can walk side by side the way the Left person needs to be comfortable too. Both have to learn to do this and cope with a new way of doing things, but they enjoy working and learning together.

Unfortunately, the rest of the Right and Left people laugh at them and say “How silly and how simple. It’ll never last”.

I am Left thinking they may be Right…

7 things the British ought to know about Bangladesh

For those of you who like lists, here are some facts about the country I live in now comparing them to the country I lived in then. For those who like something meatier, read on – I get a bit controversial towards the end…

1)      Bangladesh is the 7^th biggest country in the world but they hide it well! Statistically speaking, 1 in every 50 people you will ever meet around the world will be Bangladeshi. At just over 164 million people it is the seventh largest country in the world in terms of population. China, India and the USA are bigger but then so are their land sizes. Bangladesh is tiny (144 sq km compared to the UK’s 245 sq km) so that is an awful lot of people to cram into a small area! Ignoring countries with less than 15 million people in it, Bangladesh is the world’s most densely populated country with 1069 people per sq. km. The UK, by comparison, has just 255 people. I laughed when I read Bill Byson’s otherwise fantastic and well recommended book Notes from a Big Country and he said that Britain was very overpopulated. Oh no it’s not…

2)      The Great British Takeaway – the Indian Curry – is probably Bangladeshi. That is, the ‘Indian’ restaurant down your street is probably run by Bangladeshis. 65% of all Curry house in Britain are from Bangladesh, largely from the area in the Northeast of the country called Sylhet. This region is also well known for growing tea leaves! So have a cuppa with your curry next time, they should go together well!

3)      The language is Bangla. Well, no surprises there then! Except that it is, in one sense, only a few years old. What used to be known as Bengali which was the language of the whole area of Bengal from the days of the British Raj is, of course, much, much older. When Britain left in 1947 the Bengal area was split into India and East Pakistan until East Pakistan gained its own independence from West Pakistan in 1971. It was then that it became Bangladesh and Bangla became internationally recognized. It came at a terrible price though with a war that cost (depending on whose sources you believe) up to 3 million lives at a time when the population was just 75 million. Just think about this for a moment. At the end of the second World War, Britain had lost less than 450,000 people out of a population of 48 million (I’ll let you do the maths) yet ‘every town and village lost a son to the war’. How more so was this amazing land ravaged by this war? The issue that led to the war was the suppression of Bangla in 1948 when Urdu was declared to be the only permissible language. In 1952 on the 21^st February, several students were shot dead protesting this suppression of the language spoken by most of the country. This date is now the International Mother Language Day in memory of this event. Can you imagine having to fight just to be allowed to speak your own language?

4)      Bangladesh doesn’t exist. Well, you would think so from the way some people seem to think about it. I know some who still insist on calling the place India despite that not being the case for well over 60 years! But actually, in one sense, the land Bangladesh doesn’t exist because it is actually one big delta. In fact, it is the biggest one in the world. This is because just above it runs the 3^rd largest mountain range in the world – the Himalayas - and all the water from those mountains (including Everest) runs into Bangladesh. This means that most of the country is flat, flat as the proverbial pancake and is pretty much just mud (or silt if you prefer). Basically the people are living on a marsh. Problem is, if the sea level rises just half a meter, around 6 million people will lose their homes and if global warming causes more snow to melt off the mountains, unbelievably severe flooding will occur. This, in a country that already deals with dangerous floods every year as it is.

5)      You are more likely to die in the UK than in Bangladesh…just. This might come as a shock to many especially those who know this country well but, according to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_death_rate), the crude death rate in the UK is 10 in every 1000 people, whereas in Bangladesh it is between 7.5 and 9.3. So, come over to Bangladesh and live more safely then, yes? Not quite. The percentages may be similar but the reasons for death are very different. The vast majority of deaths in the UK are caused by problems related to old age and most deaths are of the elderly. In Bangladesh, according to which statistics you use, one in ten children born will die before they are five. Others die through heart disease, diarrhea, road and other accidents or even suicide. Death prefers the old in the UK but here in Bangladesh he comes to all ages and especially loves the young.

6)      Bangladeshis are amazingly friendly. Sometimes a little overly so it can feel if you are British and not used to the Asian manner. It can be disconcerting to stand waiting for a train with your family and have a crowd of around 40 men, women and children just standing and staring at you. The idea of personal space is very different too and claustrophobia soon kicks in. Likewise, you can feel a little cheated by the Rickshaw driver who smiles so nicely, works so hard and asks for such a small amount which you gladly pay when you find out later that he fleeced you for 10 times the actual rate that should be paid.

This raises one of the dichotomies of being here. Do you let the driver and the shopkeeper cheat you and demand much more money despite it being wrong and encouraging corruption (something this country suffers from in all the wrong places)or do you refuse and give only the correct amount knowing that these people earn less than a dollar a day and often are starving or close to it? And are they wrong to try? “We would be crazy not to” was the reply of one Rickshaw driver to a friend of ours. When you are the poorest of the poor and you know the white guy you are ferrying earns more in a week than you do in a year, is it wrong to expect him to pay more? 

But I digress. Once you have settled in and know just what you should be paying for things, then you get to see the truly friendly side of Bangladeshis. The people here are so warm and welcoming and make every effort to meet whatever needs you have when you are a guest in their home. From the poorest to the richest, according to their means, you will be offered the best and will be served the most delicious food heaped on your plate again and again until you cannot eat another mouthful and they will be delighted. This is no sycophantic attempt to get on your right side. This is a genuine desire to treat a guest (whatever their nationality including Bangladesh itself) with the greatest honour and deepest respect. How we have lost this aspect of our British culture. We became so obsessed with the task of weeding out corruption, injustice and inequality that we threw out honour and respect at the same time. Ironically, we still suffer from corruption, injustice and inequality in the UK, only it is better hidden and wrapped up in clever legislation.

7)      The British and other Westerners are still colonial in thinking about Bangladesh, only the poles have reversed. Ok, soapbox time. If there is one thing the Brits are good at, it is self-loathing. We’ve spent decades pulling our own society apart and denouncing old ways. And often, it must be said, this is entirely justified. But such is our horror of our colonial past that now we seem to think it necessary to ‘save’ places like Bangladesh by giving as much as possible of our own, advanced culture to bring them up to our level. Actually, isn’t this just colonialism all over again? Only this time, instead of stealing all this land’s riches for ourselves, we want to make them into mirror images of our own culture under the mistaken idea that somehow it is better than theirs.

Well, you know, its not. They don’t need our greedy business structures, our nanny state, our alcoholism, our broken relationships, our cynicism, our materialism or a host of other things I could mention. Bangladesh could, in many ways, do well without us – especially if this is all we offer. Don’t get me wrong. This is an impoverished country working hard to recover from centuries of abuse and war and doing a pretty damned good job of it. They need the good stuff as much as we – medicines, education, Energy supply and so on – but what they don’t need is the attitude that somehow they are inferior and can’t manage without us. The history of Bangladesh shows they most certainly can. I cringe when I see Western fashion increasingly paraded down the streets of Dhaka. I struggle with Bangladeshi youth desiring to learn Western Rock music instead of appreciating the depth of their own. I worry at the increasing number of homes with a television here, able to watch 24/7 American movies, soaps and chat shows. The West’s problems are increasingly become Bangladesh’s.

So why am I here if such influence is so bad?

I came here to help not because I was British, qualified, rich, from the West or in any way better than any Bangladeshi. I came here as a fellow human being because there is a need here I can fill as a person and for as long as my brother or my sister wants me here to work alongside them I will do my best to meet that need until my time is up. I am not throwing my money at the problems, I am not saving the world with my amazing powers. I am entering into a relationship with other people to stand with them as they continue to deal with their struggles. When I am gone, they will carry on without me and I will undoubtedly leave no mark, no tribute to me to stand the test of time and this is entirely right. But in the time I am here I will do my utmost to show, in my way, according to my own British culture, the same level of friendship, love, care, honour and respect that Bangladeshis have shown me.

I doubt I will succeed and I am sure I am getting it wrong. But, like Bangladesh itself, I keeping trying.